?

The title of this post is "?" because I've thought about it and nothing I can think of covers all the "topics" that will be smushed into this one post.

I just feel like I'm not.. Ugh idk how to put this into words..
Okay well with the friendships I have I always put so much effort and emotion to make sure the other person is happy and that I'm being a good friend but I just feel that I don't get anything in return.
I have great friends but that's on and off. Sometimes they ignore me and you just don't do that.
Plus I really care how my friends feel and I never want to make them mad or sad and I don't most of the time but let's say I like this guy... And my friend likes the same guy... I will ask her how she feels about him and comment how we both like the same guy and how I don't want it to effect us.
But then when we are by this guy, yes I flirt but nothing hardcore just joking around and stuff but she will stop at no cost until she has won him over and when we talk she always says "well we aren't dating yet" like my feelings don't even matter.
I love all my friends and I don't wanna lose them I just want to be "respected" (I don't know if that would be the right word) more.
I'm the person who always wants to have fun and include people but when drama arises I try to avoid it when it doesn't include me and that makes people mad sometimes. I don't know why... But whatever
This is all just babble.
I just need to post these things to get it out of my head.
I probably seem like a loser but I'm actually really fun in person ;) ha
................................................................I guess that's it.


*** and yes I just post random pics with every post ***

For years...

For years I've know him.
I've watched him flirt and I've watched him go through a relationship.
For years he's the one I couldn't ever stop thinking about.
Infatuation? Or love?
I didn't care.
Now, nothing has changed...
It's almost became worse. Ha yeah.. Worse
I just can't tell him how I feel
It's too much.
Maybe I'm afraid of rejection.
Maybe.
But then.. Wildly.
He kissed me.
What?! Me? Why?
Maybe he missed my cheek? With his tongue.
For years I've know him
I've spent hours and hours by his side
One night, he did it.
Maybe because he knows how I feel
Is it possible it could be mutual?
Probably not.
It was just a kiss after all

But for me, for a girl
Like me.. It was... Something words can't describe.
For years I've watched him, cared for him, maybe even lived him..
Now I wait.
Quietly. Never brave enough to confess

But isn't it obvious? I think it is

For years I've hidden.. And I don't think that will change for years to come.

Me.

I'm me and only me. People will judge and that's okay. I won't change for anyone. Staying true to yourself is important.
Remember to stay true and stay you
I might not be model pretty with perfect skin, the biggest boobs, the skinniest stomach, or the cutest smile.
But I know some day I will find my prince.
The guy who sees me for me and excepts it.
The guy who knows my flaws and knows my story and sticks around.
Patience is what u need. Patience is what we all need.

Rewind.

We used to happy, we used to be best friends.
You were the only one i thought I could tell everything too.
Then you left like nothing ever happened.
I was nothing

You erased me so easily. Why?
I know it's not all your fault but I still think about you....
....a lot.

You want her. I get it.
I just miss us, being just friends even.

You totally forgot and I always remember.

Whatta joke.
But I can still say.. I love you- & I hate it:/

Trust

Such an important thing.
Easy to start.
Easy to end.

Anyone out there?!

So I have like no clue on how to look at other blogs& i dont even know if people are looking at mine..
Anyone out there?!?!!
Commentt:)
Do you like my blogs?!
What should i write about? Show my perspective on anything particularr?!

Two words

Scared& insecure.
If those things didn't consume me right now everything would work out.
Ugh, I wish I could zap these feelings away.
But I can't.
Scared& insecure.
Don't let them over power you.